"Listen to the still, small voice...."
"Wait for open doors...."
"Do what you love the most...."
"What would you do it you knew you couldn't fail?"
"Wait on the Lord."
"Only do it if you have peace about it."
"Love God, and do what you want." -St. Augustine
I have heard a myriad of solutions from probably hundreds of people as to how I should view finding God's will for my life, do the right thing, and do what makes me happy. I've been encouraged, I've been rebuked, I've been guilted, I've been reasoned with, and I have been emotionally coerced. My certainty about my future and how I should view it have changed dramatically even on a daily bases. Something tells me I had to have been wrong at some points along the way...or was I?
About Five years ago: I'm on a hurricane relief missions trip in New Orleans shortly after Katrina. A group of us are sitting around in a room with maps in our hands. Some are crying. Some are speaking in tongues. Some are off in a corner, praying intently. I was crouched over a map, crying, with my finger on Bolivia, trying to figure out if it was the Holy Spirit leading there or if it was just coincidence that I happened to look there right when I looked at the map.
You see, one of our team leaders told us that God may be calling some of us to the missions field for life and that we should pray over a map and see if He is leading us anywhere on the map. So, after some worship music, we went at it.
To tell you the truth I haven't really put much thought into Bolivia since.
About a year later: Some friends and I are sitting around a table, eating lunch at the Honor Academy in Lindale, TX. Sean and Shani tell me about a missions trip that they are going on to the jungles of Panama. Exciting right? I look at Sean and say, "I want to go."
I remember my prayer regarding that trip. It went something like this: "God, I want to live for your glory. This trip seems like something that will bring glory to your name. I am going to work toward this because it seems best. Please stop me if it wont bring you glory."
I have been following Christ for almost six years. I have made a lot of decisions since then and my mind was in a lot of different places when I was making them.
I've laid in my room, sure that God was confirming to me that a girl was the one for me...I broke up with her a month later.
I came to Liberty because I didn't make the Core Adviser position at the Honor Academy that I wanted and I saw that as a closed door.
A few weeks ago I shared Christ with someone and I didn't ask God about it first.
Now I find myself, loving school and academics. I could probably be content continuing with my education, working in a church, and teaching for the rest of my life. I think that would probably make me really happy. I think that I would do it with great passion and purpose for the cause of Christ (by His grace alone).
Yet a see a great need in those who couldn't learn about Christ if they wanted to. Those people groups in remote places, who have never even heard the name of Jesus. People tell me that they can see me being a missionary. I agree with them. However, I think that some of them think that I would want nothing more that to leave my family, learn a language, live in poverty and suffer for Christ. That's silly. Of course I don't lay down at night and dream about sleeping in the jungle and contracting malaria. I want to go because I think that Christ is the only answer for those people. I am willing to suffer and die for Christ because I see that "the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing to the glory that is to be revealed to us." Did Christ look forward to laying his life down on the cross? I think not. He did it because He loved the Father.
So what do I choose. What I would most enjoy or were I see the greatest burden?