“As for man, his days
are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field; for the wind passes
over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more.” –Psalm 103:15-16
Those
words used to be a bit disheartening to me. Lately, they have been refreshing.
You see, I have been overcoming narcissism. It’s a disease that I’m prone to
genetically. It traces back to my ancestors Adam and Eve. Although, I think I’ve
been more exposed to it in places where I least expected it; in the church and
Christian institutions.
I have
been suffering from this idea that I should be highly concerned with my impact on the world and what I accomplish for the kingdom. I don’t
want to be too particular. I should be concerned with those things. In one
sense, that is all I can really be concerned with. I can only control what I do.
The problem is, I have been more concerned with the my impact than I am with the
kingdom. The outcome is, when someone else sees fruit in their life, I am less
likely to rejoice in their success than I am to think deeply about how I can be
as successful. These are symptoms of narcissism.
Lately,
I have found great peace in resting in the fact that I am just a small piece in
a bigger scheme. Eph. 4:15-16 says, “speaking the truth in love, we are to grow
up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole
body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when
each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up
in love.”
I will
die very soon. And, not long after my death, I won’t be thought about that
often. I have great peace in that. I have an eternal inheritance in store that
is richer than anything in this life and I play a small part in something
great.
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