Thoughts on Thoughts

It amazes me how our thoughts are translated into language. Our thoughts are categorized by words and symbols (like mathematical symbols). Greater minds are minds that categorize thoughts more orderly and have made themselves aware of more categorized thoughts. They have taken the time to categorize and carry their thoughts to new levels, building piece by piece off of already established thoughts. Discussions and books help us guide each other in this process. It is how we attempt to take others on the journey of thought that we have taken. It is truly captivating. We follow someone on their train of thought and they organize it for us in words.  The good communicators draw us in on common grounds and bring us in steps to a greater train of thought.

Also, our capacity to communicate outside of words amazes me. It doesn’t take words to communicate things like affection and anger, but we can express them to each other clearly through body language and tone of voice. Our ability to communicate beyond that (with thoughts and language) is what separates man from the rest of creation.

Adventure and Vanity

“It was when I was happiest that I longed most. It was on happy days when we were up there on the hills, the three of us, with the wind and the sunshine…where you couldn’t see Glome or the palace. Do you remember? The colour and the smell, and looking across at the Grey Mountain in the distance? And because it was so beautiful, it set me longing, always longing. Somewhere else there must be more of it. Everything seemed to be saying, Psyche come! But I couldn’t (not yet) come and I didn’t know where I was to come to. I almost hurt me. I felt like a bird in a cage when the other birds of its kind are flying home.”

Psyche speaking to Orual
C.S. Lewis, Till We Have Faces

I often find myself longing for adventure. I’m in a world that demands structure and the existential side of me cries to break free. I structure myself because it is for a purpose, but at times I don’t want purpose. I just want to live. I want to experience. I’m not content with looking at my proverbial mountains from inside a window or reading about them in a book. I want to climb them (I often want to climb actual mountains too because it seems like the typical adventure).

This sometimes creates a conflict in my desires. When my mind gets filled with romantic ideas the business attire that I usually wear seems insufficient to climb the mountains I have in my sights. Then when those I care about see me in my business suit, they get the sense that I am not along for the adventure like they are. This creates a problem because I am drawn to people who are adventurous. I usually fall for girls who long for adventure. They end up seeing the guys who are careless and free. I feel left to take care of the task at hand.

I found myself recently growing jealous of the mentality that others harbor and began growing discontent with where I am. I thought of how I don’t want to place myself in miserable conditions as a missionary. I want to be free. I want to do great things with my life. I want to live in such a way that if someone were to write a book about my life it would be worth reading. I would live with no regrets.

Then I was reminded of a concept called purpose. I asked myself, “What is true freedom?” Should freedom be the aim? A forest fire is free, yet it leaves destruction and devastation in its path. Is a forest fire free if it can’t even control itself? It is driven by the winds.

True freedom seems more like a concert pianist. The pianist has to live a disciplined and focused life in order to play the way s/he does, often neglecting immediate desires. However, when the trained pianist steps up to play, no one is freer on the piano.

If I didn’t have purpose I would be free to do more of what I desire when I desire it. But, if I didn’t have purpose would I truly be free? The reason I live life the way that I do is based completely on the hope that Jesus Christ is resurrected and that He is Lord. If Christ isn’t resurrected, not seeking after the pleasures and desires of my heart would make me a coward. On the other hand, if Christ is resurrected, life is found in Him and to seek anything else is loss. To seek anything else would be a life without purpose; moving and devouring where the wind blows it.

Is it wrong for me to live a life of adventure? No. Living for Christ has been a greater adventure than I could have found myself. God is the creator of adventure. Does it not seem like our longing for that ‘something more’ in life is a longing for God, the fulfiller of all emptiness. So I will set sails on my adventure. It is one with a purpose. It is a life lived for Christ. I wouldn’t want to go anywhere else.

The Leap

I have stepped over the line,
The boundary is crossed
I won’t look to the left or to the right
I will look to the lost

I am the sanctified
By The Spirit baptized
For the world who is searching
With hope in my eyes

I will run the race
I will not grow faint
I am strengthened by God’s
Glorious inheritance in the saints

The task ahead
Is to much for me
But I am not alone
It’s the cross I see

Death has lost it’s sting
And life has lost it’s fear
Danger seems so close
But The Spirit is oh so near

The task seems heavy
But His yoke is light
Brothers and sisters
We’re not alone in this fight

United as one spirit
As one body we stand
We leap into darkness
God provides the land

Bond servants for Christ
But have never felt so free
We move like leaves in the wind
To wherever His will may be

Bruised and broken
But still going strong
The Kingdom is coming
The time won’t be long

Committed to His cause
Til’ death do us home
When we can throw our crowns
At the feet of His throne

Airplane

You murmur under your breath, swearing
Staring out the window swearing
That someday you’ll be like that airplane
Flying high, doing whatever it wants
Freely, no one stops it but everyone just looks with wonder
But you wonder if you will ever be
Someday you say, someday that will be me
And I’ll be free, just me, just to be what I wanna be
Flying over the skies and the sea
And everyone will see and wish that they were just like me

Come to find out that you live in reality
That all those classes that you were daydreaming in before
Turned out to be that low GPA that you got on your report card
Everyone always told you that you were smart,
But what seems easy for everyone else is no trophy on your shelf
You work twice as hard and get called average

But what you forgot is that combat isn’t competition
And that a warrior looks ahead
Not to the left
Not to the right
But straight ahead
And you’ll know who your brother and sisters are because they are doing the same

What you forgot is that there is no such thing as a better dream
And that popularity doesn’t equal quality

What you have forgotten is that the church
is one body
Sure the eyes look nice, but without the feet
They’re not going to get you anywhere
Sure, the hands are precise but it’s the shoulders that carry all the weight
And they are the first thing others come to cry on when they need it

What you forgot to do is look up to see where you have to go
Because it gets pretty confusing when you are looking around
And when you are looking up and heading in that direction
You’ll know who your brothers and sisters are because they will be right there with you.

A little more about myself.

Dr. Fink had us write a short autobiography for our 350 class. I really enjoyed writing it so I figured I would share it:

My name is Josh Cushing. I was born on Christmas day, 1987. I have seen the videos of me as a newborn baby, bundled up in a Christmas stocking in my mother’s arms. I probably didn’t realize at the time how much of a blessing my mother and father are to me, but other than Jesus Christ, they are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Both of my parents live their lives in honor of their Lord Jesus and I couldn’t thank them enough for it. My mother, Susan, was raised in the church but came to know the Lord when she was about eighteen I believe. My father, Clarke Cushing, experienced Christ as his savior and redeemer in the midst of a battle with cancer thanks to a faithful Catholic nun. It was thanks to them that I grew up knowing the gospel of Jesus. I remember embracing it when I was a young child. I was laying on my bed thinking about how I needed to ask Jesus into my heart in order to go to heaven. I think I actually pictured a little Caucasian Jesus sitting in my heart, but my theology has improved since then.

Not only was I raised by Christian parents but I attended the same Christian school from kindergarten until I graduated (I wish I hadn’t sometimes because it makes me seem really sheltered and my public school friends always brag about their experience like a rapper brags about the ghetto). I was a pretty good kid too. Growing up I was quiet, obedient and never really caused many problems. All of my teachers would tell my parents that I was always a pleasure in the class. I even remember another kid in my class acting up and the teacher told him to come sit next to me so that he would behave. There aren’t many more emasculating things to an elementary school boy when all your friends act bad to be cool. I’ve never met a young boy who actually wants to be nice more than he wants to be heroic or tough. My teacher didn’t understand that. I got the same treatment from my friends too. I was well liked, but when I think about it, I didn’t necessarily have the playground respect that every kid wants. I remember getting made fun of because my aim in dodge ball was about as dangerous as those cheap squirt guns you buy at the dollar store.

With all this in perspective, how would a God-fearing young man treat this kind of reputation? Rejoice that the Lord has given me a gentle heart and seek Christ as my strength and confidence? Of course not! I tried to prove to everyone how tough and daring I was (at least in my own mind) by listening to tough guy rap and angry metal, getting my parents to by me clothes that were cool, and working out on the bowflex. I wasn’t nearly as tough as I thought I was, but girls started to notice.

When I got to high school, I began to express how cool I was through apathy (I know it’s pathetic but it made me feel like a real free thinker at the time). Along with that I received an in-school suspension for skipping classes to go to the movies (I told you I was bold). To make a long story short, I lost my parents trust and realized that all of my stunts weren’t making my life as cool as I thought they would. This was my turning point. I was about 17. I remember laying on the floor of my room and asking God for help. I knew that I needed to actually give my life to Jesus forreal. I always knew I would eventually. And I knew that it had to be now. I remember asking Jesus to take over my life. I didn’t care if I lost my friends or anything else. I just wanted him to take control. I had known all of the right church answers up to that point and yet I suddenly felt like I had known nothing before. It felt like I had just been born. My life has never been the same since.

I soon noticed that I wasn’t the only one of my friends who the Lord was working on. Groups of us were soon meeting at people’s houses once a week just to worship God and talk about Him. I remember someone turning on a CD of worship songs and we all began singing. I began singing to God with all of my heart. I was lifting my hands to the Lord, not caring about anyone around me (remember, I am an introvert, so that was a big deal). I looked around to find that everyone was doing the same. We lived for that one, Thursday night every week. I remember at one point, we had 50 kids packed into someone’s basement, worshipping God. 50 highschoolers having church on their own free will!

Jesus became my life and has been ever since. I started dating my first girlfriend my senior year. It was a learning experience. In many ways, we tried very hard to glorify God with our relationship. In other ways, we were immature and lacked boundaries. We broke up the summer of my senior year. To this day I still think she is a wonderful Christian girl. She is still a friend of mine and we have both grown in Christ since. However, we didn’t break up because we wanted to. We broke up because I wanted to spend a year at Teen Mania’s Honor Academy. It is a really exciting, pre-college discipleship program with one catch; all participants make a commitment not to date for the year they are there. We broke up, I left for Texas, and my world was changed from the things I learned. I went through a lot of heartache, I was humbled by the things I learned, and it helped me to be disciplined and my pursuit after Christ.

When I left the Honor Academy, I wasn’t home for three days before I left for my freshmen year at Liberty. I wasn’t at Liberty a week before I became a prayer leader (without really even knowing what a prayer leader was) and was heavily involved at Liberty.  I changed from wanted to go to medical school, to being a business major, to where I now happily reside in the religion department, working towards a bachelors in Philosophy and Biblical Studies. My time at Liberty has been a testing time. I have been learning a lot about myself and leadership through being an RA on campus. My faith has come to a point where I am attempting to understand it rationally and learning to love God with my mind without neglecting the emotional passion for the things of the Lord (which I have come to believe is, to an extent, very necessary). Where I am currently is that I have learned that I have a lot to learn. I am daily struggling to make less of me and more of Christ and trying to understand how I can best serve the Lord in the short life I have on this earth.

The Spirit of the Disciplines

If a child wanted to play baseball like his favorite baseball player, could he accomplish this by simply mimicking that player in a game situation? Of course not. Because what that child doesn't see is that there is an entire lifestyle of training that goes into being that kind of a player on the field. Likewise, a concert pianist doesn't play pieces well because she concentrates really hard when she gets up to perform. It is a lifetime of work that goes into performing difficult pieces with ease.

Then why is it that we as Christians think that we can act like Christ simply by understanding what he did in the moments recorded in scripture? Is it really realistic to ask ourselves "What would Jesus do?" in a key situation without living the kind of lifestyle that Jesus lived in secret?

These are the kinds of questions that Dallas Willard poses in his enlightening book The Spirit of the Disciplines. This book has been a great help to me in understanding practical Christian living. I highly recommend it to anyone who would wish to understand the Christian disciplines.

"So, if we wish to follow Christ-and to walk in the easy yoke with him-we will have to accept his overall way of life as our way of life totally. Then, and only then, we may reasonably expect to know by experience how easy is the yoke and how light the burden". -Dallas Willard

Cornelius

 We went to a Mosque this semester. It was for our philosophy class. We wanted to sit in on their prayer time and talk with them afterward. They were some of the nicest people I had ever met and after conversing with them, I had to go back.

So a few weeks later, we had heard about an open house that the mosque was having for the community. Some friends and I went. I was so impressed with there devotion and hospitality toward us. Now, granted, one organized question and answer panel with someone can not show you the true life transforming work of their worldview and religion, which I consider a very important factor of true faith. Still, it raised some questions in my mind that I haven't been able to let go of. The main question being, "How does God view those who are outside of a life in Christ yet pursue righteousness with all that they know to be true?" I have wrestled with this for quite some time. Then I came across Cornelius.

Cornelius was a God fearing man, but was neither a Jew nor a Christian (Acts 10:1-2). He was not able to practice Judaism but he led his household in fearing God, gave alms, and prayed continuously (v.2). He saw a vision, telling him to send for Peter. Peter, at this point, did not fully understand the way that God works in the hearts of man. He still had in his mind that salvation was only for the Jews. Then God came to him in a vision, telling him "what God has made clean, do not call common." This meant that all men were welcome to receive salvation in Christ and that Peter was to bring the message to the Gentiles too!

When Peter is explaining this dream to Cornelius, he says, "Truly I understand that God shows no partiality, but in every nation anyone who fears him and does what is right is acceptable to him." Does this mean that people can earn salvation apart from Christ? Warren W. Wiersbe makes a keen observation about Cornelius;

The difference between Cornelius and many religious people today is this: he knew that his religious devotion was not sufficient to save him. Many religious people today are satisfied that their character and good works will get them to heaven, and they have no concept either of their own sin or of God’s grace. In his prayers, Cornelius was asking God to show him the way of salvation
Wiersbe, W. W. (1996). The Bible exposition commentary. Wheaton, Ill.: Victor Books.

We also must recognize that after Peter had said this, he preached the gospel to Cornelius. Before he could even finish, the Holy Spirit came on Cornelius and his whole house!

From this passage I notice two things: First, God honors a broken and contrite heart that fears him (Psalm 51). Second, while a God-fearing heart opens someone to the gospel, salvation comes through Christ alone. We see this is Acts 11:13-14, which says that Peter will declare to them a message from which they will be saved.